Hope...

1. the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best
2. to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence
3. to believe, desire, or trust
4. to feel that something desired may happen

Hope... this past 6 months or so I have been learning the power of hope... and that it can be a terrible, difficult thing... and that like a mind, it is a terrible thing to waste...

I am a pretty hopeful guy I think. (For all my "cynicism", it is just because I want to be better, I want everyone else to be better, and I think... hope that things and people can be better. Myself included.) I sure do hope a lot, and for a lot of different things. I hope that I can be strong and stand up for what is right. I hope that others will be able to do the same. I hope that I can trust people. That they can trust me. I hope that I will find peace wherever the Lord takes me. I hope that I can bring peace to those that need it. I hope that someday I can be with someone that understands me. I hope to be loved. I hope when the time is right, I can step up and give love, real love. I hope that my life will be worthy of having a movie made out of it to tell my story. I hope to live a life like that.

And yet... I can't help but wonder... is there a point that you should "give up" hope? If not "hope", then at least a hope in something specific or particular? I think I am starting to see how hope can be detrimental... I wonder if at some point hope changes to imagination, or at least fancy, followed by lunacy...

What if you find out that what you had hoped for really wouldn't be "for the best"?

I think I like hope a whole lot more when I don't even notice that I have it than when I have to rely on it as... well, as my only hope...

Wow, this could be the darkest post ever about the topic of "hope"! That just isn't a good representation of the case for me. It isn't a dark time. I have a great life... but there are things that have been hoped for that just aren't happening, and I guess I am trying to take out my feelings so that I can have a look at them as I try to decide what this life is all about and what to do about it. Maybe some things just shouldn't be hoped for, maybe we should be hoping for better... or maybe we should be willing to take a look around ourselves to see if perhaps what we hoped for is already there, just not in the shape that we thought it would come.

Jeremiah 29:11

Listening to Drown off of Chasen's album Shine Through The Stars