I am sorry... I am sorry that I cannot, for all my attempts and intentions, love you. I do not mean love you with my heart, for that is without question, and never in doubt. Instead I am sorry that I seem unable to love you with the rest of me. I am sorry for the expression of my love. I am sorry for always seeming to get it wrong. I am sorry that I cannot express with my mouth and with my hands that which is so strong and clear in my heart, that which I feel so strongly that I fear I will explode if the expression of it is not at least attempted. And there, perhaps, is the problem. I am forced to try to express a flood with a faucet. I am sorry that I don't know how to love you, how to show you, how to offer proof. I wish that my heart was transparent so that you could look directly inside and see that which is contained therein. That all the jumbled, myriad thoughts and feelings could be expressed as a laser, clear, focused, direct and true, slicing through all the noise, and all the interpretations. Cutting direct from my heart to yours, forming a link of true expression, with all static and interference eliminated in its wake.
For now this is all that I have, and all I can do is beg your forgiveness and offer the promise that I will keep trying, I will keep loving and I will keep hoping that one day I will get it right.
Sincerely,
brad
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