the way you'd think... I can be honest, but sometimes I don't know
WHEN to be honest. It has always struck me that sometimes being honest
or "open" can be a huge mistake & that is what I struggle with. Have
you ever told somebody something that was true only to regret it
later? I've felt that way, but I am not sure that "regret is the right
word. I don't think that my mind/heart can accept the feeling of
regret for speaking the truth... but there it is.
So here we go... I find myself wondering what a day would be like
without a thought of you. Or any length of time for that matter. Who
are you? I have realistically known you for a mere couple of months
and not known you for a year and a half. In a lot of ways of feels like you've been gone since
even before then...
Sometimes I find myself wondering what is wrong with me. I have some
interest in the way things work, & the way EVERYTHING works. Including
the human mind. I find myself looking at what I call symptoms and
trying to find the cause of the symptom. So what is in me that can
explain how I get stuck like this? What is it? What can I do for
"treatment"? Do I even want to be treated? Which of course comes from
the question, "Is it a negative to be the way that I am?"And then it has to be asked if there is an outside factor causing the symptom? It has to at least be considered if the root is to be proved.
Honesty... the idea leaves me with so many varying thoughts...
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