Heart in motion...?

So I was thinking that maybe I should talk a little bit about "following my heart" since I mentioned it... It is a dangerous thing... especially in this day and age, but here is the deal, I don't know that I can think of a time when my heart had been either wrong or confused... my mind on the other hand gets confused and is wrong ALL THE TIME!! And here is the deal, I don't have much, but I do have someone pretty important in my heart. With that in mind, and knowing the Creator of said heart, and just my experience, it would seem that my heart is the best part about me and quite frankly, when the clock is running down and we need some points, I am going to put the ball in the hands of my best player. My mind I can deal with, but not following my heart, that haunts me... I've got to follow my heart...

A good friend of mine relayed a nugget of wisdom to me recently that she had heard. We were talking about making decisions and trying to hear God's voice in it all and I was talking about trusting that God made me who I am, in essence, He created the person making said decision so listening to my heart is in essence listening to God since He made my heart and had taught and guided it to this point. She told me about her mother saying it was like a parent watching very closely over a young child and making decisions for that child but releasing decisions to the child as it grew (in knowledge and stature) until the child, while still consulting the parent, could make most decisions completely independent of the parent. I thought it went hand in hand in what I was thinking since even in that instance the parents convictions/knowledge/morals/wisdom/etc. had all been injected into the child and were guiding the child.

I hope I can always trust my heart. I can't imagine living without it...

Listening to:City and Colour's Against The Grain and Sensible Heart off of Bring Me Your Love

So how does this work?

Well, I have been going to bed later and getting up earlier lately and so I find myself with 10 extra minutes before work that I normally wouldn't have... so I decided to not let it go to waste while also keeping my streak of being 3 1/2 minutes late alive. The only problem is that the thoughts that I awake to are pretty scary sometimes, even for me... OK, maybe not so scary... chances are I wake up thinking about 1 of 2, possibly 3 things, with I guess the 3rd being miscellaneous and the other 2 really only being interesting to me and maybe one or 2 other people. Sorry, but today was item number 2... but I am thinking that there may be a way to expand/generalize it into the 3rd category, but I am not sure that I have time for that. I can't be later then 3 1/2 minutes, I just can't! Here is a start though...

So today I woke up thinking about communication. It seems I have been both getting it wrong and getting it right lately, mostly wrong though, but here is the thing, I have been getting it wrong (and sometimes right) because I have found myself staring down the barrel of gun loaded with blanks. It is hard to test the ballistics on such a gun. I have been trying to figure out what is being said to me, with nothing being said to me. As I deal more with adults, I find this to be increasingly difficult, yet it would seem that I am still expected to get it right, and it is made harder at times when it is upsetting enough to the other person that they don't want to discuss it. To quote Mat Kearney, "what's a boy to do?" (Did I mention I love music? I guess I should, since it is bound to come up again... often...) The decision so far has been to follow my heart and try, try, try (Yeah, yeah, John Mayer...) to do the right thing. At least that may be easier to forgive if I get it wrong... I just wish I didn't get it wrong... This communication thing is hard, and apparently it is harder when it doesn't happen...

And now I will be sufficiently late...

PS I was listening to Herbie Hancock: River-The Joni Letters. Thought since it wasn't an option, like a myspace blog, if I thought of it I would just tell you what I was listening to...

Yikes!

Did you ever feel like maybe, just maybe you may have something of meaning and possibly worth to add to this world? Even if only a different/obscure perspective to get the dialogue going? I feel that way sometimes... sometimes I just have to let it out. This could very well be the out pouring of that need. Hopefully something good can come of it, even if only a little of my own piece of mind...